The One Where I Paid For Sex

Disclaimer: This headline is wildly false and you may sue me.

What actually happened was I paid for a local Airbnb for the night so I could shag the current bloke. And here is that story.

So, it began with meeting up one night, where we went for a walk and bought dessert and sure was cute, but I want the shagging. There was a general agreement to do it outside/ in the car like pure classy birds, buuut the night passed without any touching and I was not a happy bunny. Then, I text him, after having a small existential crisis about whether I can have meaningful relationships without sex (!!!), saying pls can we organise the sex bc I be chomping at the bit? The subsequent plan happened; to find a woodland to park at or tree to shag against. Having never had either, I can understand how they can both can seem hot and dangerous and sexy, but I can’t imagine actually having good sex in the great outdoors.

Having brought up this dilemma to some friends- one suggested Airbnb, and that was a genius moment. So, booked it. £45.61 for an annex flat behind the suburban homeowners and I won’t lie it was a nice little place.

^ Off my private Snapchat "Shag Her pt2"

We got there early evening after work, and with me paying for accommodation, he brought simple food to prepare, and then began round 1 of 5 :) Started off with just normal foreplay and missionary etc etc. I called it off fairly soon in because I wasn’t really feeling it, and the bed was ridiculously squeaky. After that, we moved the mattress to the floor, made and ate the food, watched various sitcom episodes and more sex. Honestly, I was enjoying just being naked around someone else, but here is the highlight reel:

🔍 There was a wall-sized mirror, which I got to watch us. Fuck me, that is probably the hottest thing- watching him hold me during doggy and watching his arms tense was ridiculously sexy.

🖖 While we were sitting on the floor mattress watching TV, I was leaning against the bottom of the armchair and he was lying down below. He had perfect vantage point to finger me, and yes he did that well. This fingering was particularly good because he was trailing his fingers around my thighs before that and that got me very horny.

🚿 Best thing: shower sex . My first time doing it and since it was the end of the night, less passionate and more rather romantic. Due to our height difference, I was pressed up against the tile wall and he was coming from behind, which yes was hot but the leverage wasn’t working. Instead we lathered each other up, and doing that on a hairy chest, I know now, is also hot.

💦 We weren’t using condoms because we were both tested at least 2 weeks after sex with others (testing windows people!!!), and my contraceptive patch protects from the babies. He came three times during our bouts and that was on my body because fluids on sheets and leaking out of me freak me out so much, so again- hot. I, on the otherhand, Ms. Never Cum, may have also got myself off during!!! First I used the rabbit on myself, then just my finger on clit, and it took ages, and wasn’t as intense as when I do it without company, but definitely reached somewhere.

I have no complaints about the boy’s performance; a large penis and he uses it well, in work rate and longevity, but here’s the cons.

🍑 He hadn’t done anal before and didn’t want to then, so instead used butt plug and anal beads on me, and it was defo not bad, but I got the sense he was holding back a little bit (probably bc wasn’t 100% sure of himself with the inexperience so not blaming that one on him)

🦨 However, the real problem was that using these toys created, ahem, air. Which as a queef is whatever, but the butt… I swear to god it wasn’t farts! It was accumulated air, which I held in until I was drifting asleep and then it had to come out. I mean I explained it away to the poor bloke and he still shagged me in the morning, and is still texting me so can’t be all bad :/

So that’s the story; good sex, tick a few things off my to-do list (shower, standing up, in front of mirror, and kinda cum), all for the low, low price of under £50 :), Currently, me and the boy are generally chatting with maybe plans to see each other again soon, but I am moving across the country again next week, so expect plenty more boys to come!

Love ya,

Your currently not hard up gal