I’m Just a Slut in a Slut-Shaming World

Hello all, it’s me, your not-regular-at-all sex blogger! Here is a recent experience of mine which was a bit odd, quite frankly.

So, it begins with some casual sex, of my own instigation. The night before I moved out of the city I used to live in, I asked a boy off Tinder if he would like a night of casual sex, and he was a little taken back but agreed. It ended up being easier to have at his because of housemates, proximity etc. So got there, and I could definitely tell he was nervous and unused to one-night stands, because he mentioned his anxiety a few times. We were chatting for a little bit and it was getting a bit late so I said shall we head up to bed, which shocked him that I’d be so presumptuous. Which I understand; I guess not everyone would say that but he took it in his stride at least. Had the sex...which considering this was less than a month ago, I can’t really remember it so that should explain how meh it was. I do remember teaching him a few positions, so yeah he was a little inexperienced.

All of this- fine. Then it got a bit weird.

First it was general conversations about me sleeping around and why I don’t settle down, which again whatever but like I didn't particularly enjoy the judgy questions. Then he was going on about feelings and why couldn't I have known him sooner… which is a very odd conversation topic for two people who have just met. This was ok, and after a bit of morning sex, which was still quite good, I went home and moved out proper and all g.

Few days later, I get a reply to an (admittedly thirsty) insta story, which then turned into a paragraph. I thought about attaching the screenshot but that would be harsh so I shall paraphrase.

Basically that my sleeping around is against social norms,

that he is worried for me because I may end up being “hurt or unhappy” with this sleeping round,

and finally that I got “lucky” with him.

Oh my blood was boiled.

First, societal norms?!!?! I guess that depends what social circle you’re in but for my peers, sleeping around is pretty common at our age.

Second, fuck me Dad thanks for your concern?!?!? Like you’ve known me one night and you’ve decided you can be the judge of the safety of my actions? I’d say I’ve been this casual with my love life over the last 2 years and yeah I won’t lie and say it’s all gone swimmingly but I certainly have no regrets.

And third and finally, don’t patronise me. I think he was trying to make a little joke and/flirt with me but it comes across as like he’s this big protector and how lucky I am he didn’t… rape me?

Soooo, my response to this was leaving him on read for a while and replying that if he had that opinion, it’d be best for us not to talk anymore. And tbh there wasn’t much point in texting anyway, wasn’t gonna see him again. Theeen his response was to take it all back? Said that he understood how what he said would come across as dick-ish and he wanted to talk again. Then we commenced generally chatting but stopped and haven't heard from him in 2 weeks… not that I wish to as I do have a new boy now :) This reversal possibly annoyed me the most, because he makes his point, which whatever, but then doesn’t have the conviction to support his own argument? Chaldish.

So, that’s the story and my feelings on such a matter, and now is the time for the takeaway. Contrary to this title, I'm not sure I could class this whole episode as "slut-shaming", but it definitely came from a misguided place. Well, I was rather (rightfully?) angry at the point he was trying to say, but I’m also happy to forget about him and the whole situation. I’m not about to change twenty-odd years of social conditioning of his own feelings, and I definitely wouldn’t be arsed anyway. But this was my first direct experience of slut-shaming and so I thought I’d document it x

I pray it doesn’t happen to you also,

Love you bye,

Hard Up Gal x