Day 1- BASICS Suction Cup Clear Dildo 6 Inch (Clear)... 3/5 grapefruits

Hello all people! Today begins the first day of my 5 reviews on the sex toys I have recently bought. Shockingly, it has taken me this long to buy some, so this was my first order- a grand total of £40.56 (first order discount + student discount + free delivery). In case anyone was wanting to order some stuff, the order arrived in less than a week, in a plain cardboard box with no signature needed, so really no excuse not to get something for yourself ;).

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All the toys are pretty cheap, i.e. part of the 'everyday value' range, because I'm a sucker for a deal. This dildo (currently out of stock soz), was £12.99 without the discounts and is the one I have used the most. I feel like people name their dicks- any suggestions in the insta story?

First of all, the main positive to this dildo is... well... it's a phallus. I don't tend to finger myself in general, because a) that's a one way ticket to cramp-city, and b) I don't really feel that much down there anyway with the angle my fingers can get. So having something to shove up me when a boy can't shove his something up me is sweeeeet.

In hindsight, getting a suction cup was not the best idea; I've never been into shower masturbation which is the only hard surface I can stick it to ;(. So I've basically just been holding it in my hand in bed and going in and out of me (I have tried putting a serving tray under my sheets to stick on to and thought I was a bloody genius and then it won't stick anymore, RIP me). This is one thing that I never noticed while I lay there getting a pounding from a boy, the effort it takes to do it. Omg, I think I can do about a couple of minutes and I'm knackered, so while I'm very ready to have a real dick again, this is also nice. Perhaps my next purchase should be one with a handle? A self-gyrating? The options!

About the shape, I chose something with the heads and the veins but without skin tone and balls because I think that would just freak me out. So I like that it's kinda realistic but not too realistic. I am not however, a fan of the head. That little ridge is like a headbutt in my vagina after a while. Because it's not flexible and a bit too pronounced, after a few minutes of use it gets quite sore near the start of my vagina. This is also due to its girth. This bitch is thick, like I occasionally struggle to get it in me, and quite frankly, sets unrealistic expectations for a chunky member. So I would wish it to be slightly thinner so I can go for a little longer without the soreness. Saying that, let's face it, my arm muscles would have gone by then because I'm a lazy shiiiiit.

So circumference -> <-, however length, I think I'd like it maybe an inch more. At first I was like this is way too short but now I think it's about right, because it just about hits my cervix (is that what is there or do I need a biology lesson?), but just an inch longer would make it a bit easier to pump I think.

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Hmmm this review has been mostly negative comments and improvements but don't get me wrong; it's a dick, it does it's job well and it's easy to clean. So I shall give it 3 grapefruits, because while it is not ideal, it's still feels veeeery nice.

(oh yeah, still hard up over here)